Global warming brings us our coldest winter ever.
Well, folks, it’s been a fun ride. But now it’s time to go. I’ve got to build some kind of underground shelter or whatever since global warming is obviously about to kill us. Who knows if I’ll have Wi-Fi down there.
Yes, it’s true. Global warming has given us the coldest winter on record. This isn’t limited to the United States, however. It seems to be a worldwide happening. Clearly the world is suffering horribly at the hands of Hummers and SUVs and hybrids are the only hope for the future. Algore’s Countdown to World Destruction was obviously a few years off.
In a planet that’s supposedly getting warmer, we’re having the coldest winter ever. Isn’t this, like, news? So why did I have to dig into the vast recesses of Google News Alerts to find it? Why don’t I see it on CNN or MSNBC or any other networks? Could it be…media bias?
…Nah.
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I moved to Chicago on November 1st, 2007. At the time I was told it would be a “mild” winter and that “global warming was clearly taking its toll in Chicago.”
Yet, it has been nothing short of brutal in every way. In fact, it snowed all morning today and is still under freezing.
Could this be a new round of global cooling?
I feel so betrayed. I expected to sit on a beach this winter drinking fruity concoctions. Al Gore lied to me!
But in all seriousness-right on for pointing this out.