Christina’s Common Sense

Well.

I didn’t have a high opinion of Time Magazine before. Now it’s so low it would need to go up to reach zero.

In an upcoming issue, Time has ditched the red border in favor of a green one. The reason, of course, is to make green “the new red, white & blue.”

That’s dumb, but really nothing new from the eco-freaks. But what has me en fuego is the picture on the cover, which depicts the famous Iwo Jima flagraising photo with a pine tree in place of the flag. According to the magazine’s editor, “There needs to be a real effort along the lines of World War II to combat climate change.”

Yes. Your monitor is working.

I’m not hopping mad about this just because Iwo Jima happens to be my favorite WWII battle (but I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t a factor). I’m not even hopping mad because the idea that global warming is a crisis on par with Pearl Harbor is ludicrous (even though it is). I’m hopping mad because this picture puts environmentalists In the same category as the Marines who fought on Iwo. They’re not, and only a fool would think they are. Time has some nerve belittling the sacrifice that allows them to make such wrongheaded statements. I hope they hear from some Marines about it. But somehow, I don’t think I have to worry.

How would you feel about paying $0.50 more a gallon for gas?

If you greet that concept with mixed feelings—dread and angst—you’re hardly alone. But if you live in my adopted home state of Michigan, it could become a sad reality.

Michigan is already in an economic jam, and now Con. John Dingell wants to make it worse by raising gas taxes $0.50 a gallon. Last time I gassed up, I paid $3.45 a gallon. A $0.50 tax would mean almost $4 a gallon! Ouch!

But there’s more to this story than a hit in the wallet. Dingell’s rationale is that this tax will encourage people to consume less fuel and therefore be more environmentally friendly.

What do you call using money to change someone’s behavior? Extortion, that’s what you call it. It’s kind of illegal. But then, so’s theft, which is what the government does when it takes your money and gives it to someone who hasn’t earned it. But I guess the law only applies to those of us who don’t hold elected office.

Well, folks, it’s been a fun ride. But now it’s time to go. I’ve got to build some kind of underground shelter or whatever since global warming is obviously about to kill us. Who knows if I’ll have Wi-Fi down there.

Yes, it’s true. Global warming has given us the coldest winter on record. This isn’t limited to the United States, however. It seems to be a worldwide happening. Clearly the world is suffering horribly at the hands of Hummers and SUVs and hybrids are the only hope for the future. Algore’s Countdown to World Destruction was obviously a few years off.

In a planet that’s supposedly getting warmer, we’re having the coldest winter ever. Isn’t this, like, news? So why did I have to dig into the vast recesses of Google News Alerts to find it? Why don’t I see it on CNN or MSNBC or any other networks? Could it be…media bias?

…Nah.